augh i need to start staying at my apartment :/

i swear to god i'm just always trailing behind the bandwagon. I JUST BOUGHT METAL GEAR SOLID GUYS I'M SUPER PSYCHED TO PLAY--wait, what? FOUR?

HOLD UP WAGON COME BAAAAACK

in other news: i want an oc roleplay. preferably in a sci-fi setting. that isn't like 90% journal posts. or fuck it could be if they make a way for it to make sense in the setting. like, mandatory logs because of jobs or something.

... its a ship and crew members have to keep logs?

fuck, i'd MAKE one if i had the time or help D:

because i'm suffering from some severe creative withdrawal. and... panfandoms just dont do it for me, i dunno why D:

this is probably gonna be like fvt where i end up putting together some crazy detailed setting only to never use it >(

OFF TO DISNEYLAND FOR MY BIRTHDAY, GUYS

:D <3

HOLY BEJEEZUS YOU GUYS POST ALOT


fffff finally caught up with my friendslist holy fuckballs.

ANYWHO. yeah so i've been dead. let me update you folks with this handy bullet list. because you care. SHUT UP YOU'RE AT LEAST CURIOUS.

- i got out of my lease with my roommate that was causing me a ton of misery considering the living conditions. my grandfather is my own personal deus ex machina.
- that same grandfather had to go into the hospital with a blood clot in his lung. he's home now, but he's super weak. outlook is good though.
- i got registered for school! going back for the first time in three years, just starting off with philosophy and maybe a writing class for now.
- i found a new apartment! big, one bedroom, cheap, awesome place. here's to hoping that all that good karma is catching up to me.
- i have a new boyfriend. its so wonderfully out of nowhere. we went to high school together but hadn't seen each other in four years, and he just wandered into where i work. it's going wonderfully so far~
- bought all kinds of new fun stuff for my apartment =D its really starting to feel like MY place
- THEY ALLOWED SMOKING IN SAFEHOUSE AGAIN FUCK TO THE YEAH!
- i bought a new journal, i want to start writing again.
- im actually managing to stay on good terms with the former roommate. i've missed being friends with her a LOT
- bit of a shit situation at work that i don't particularly feel comfortable discussing here, but hopefully it'll work out.

in short form, that's what's been going on. gonna be getting the internet transferred so hopefully you'll be seeing more of me soon.

with the exception of that last one, holy fuck life is amazing right now :D

goddamnit. when i am moved out of there, you can have fuck-stick over whenever the fuck you want for however long you want. just let me get out goddamnit i am so close why are you making this difficult

is it just me or is the new series of rvb moving really slow? maybe ive just forgotten what its like to have to wait a week to figure out whats going on. :/

and now billy 'THE MAN WITH NO INDOOR VOICE' mays too?

WHO WILL EXCITE US ABOUT NEW PRODUCTS?

WHO WILL SCREAM AT US FROM INFORMERCIALS AT THREE IN THE MORNING?

WHY GOD? WHY IS IT ALWAYS THE GOOD ONES?

so fifty hour work weeks when you're a waitress can eat my fucking nuts dude augh.

every now and again i have the urge to go back and reread fics. does anyone else get writer's amnesia? where after awhile you dont really remember the process of writing something--like you're reading someone else's work? maybe its just me.

but anywho, rereading my stuff has made me come to the unfortunate realization that the rest of Repercussions will most likely never get written. at least not to my satisfaction. but, i came up with a crappy vague plot and lots of headcanon for the Higher Plane.

i love finding out about different people's headcanon, so it occurred to me that maybe you guys would to.

( here comes some babbling )

so what do you guys think? the plot is lame as balls, but i really am attached to the headcanon i have for the Higher Plane. if there are glaring contradictions, let me know, its been way too long since i played the game and i didn't have my notes to reference as i was writing this up so i had to go from memory.

also~ what do you think the Higher Plane is like? i'm curious to know :B

man my capitalization is friggin' random

fff i'm sorry there hasn't been an amusing or interesting post on here in like, forever. i've had little to no motivation when it comes to fandom stuff, and i havent been doing a whole lot except working and dealing with stupid shit right now.

man i hate letting my journal become a whine-zone. no one's interested in that.

SO HERE HAVE AN AMAZING LINK

Nietzsche Family Circus

it pairs a random family circus comic with a random nietzsche quote. it is amazing.

oh man. i let me mom read what i had of the 'dan epic' so far. she knew most of it but there were one or two things that came as a surprise. it was the first time i let someone in my real life read it though.

speaking offf. let's see if i can get through this next bit. this is the part that is going to be the hardest because its the freshest. up until now, distance has allowed me to remain objective, but that's going to be a bit hard here.

( the possible end )

okay. part three of the dan epic. this is where things start to get a bit blurry, because i havent had as much distance at this point. let me give you a time frame for when these things happened

summer 04 - dan and i meet
jan 05 - feb 05 - dan and i date for the first time
may 05 - i graduate high school
jul 05 - aug 05 - dan and i date the second time
fall semester 05 - nau
jan 06 - feb 06 - dan and i date the third time

jesus it really has been three years. wow. also, you read right, dan and i only dated for about a month each time.

( anyway, continuing on... )

okay. one more part, the last time dan and i dated.

good god in HEAVEN oh man.

so i just got the ever living fuck scared out of me.

i was driving home from work, i was in the left lane and this CRAZY CRACKHEAD BITCH literally jumps out in front of my car screaming and pointing at me. i had to swerve into the right lane to not hit her and im hella lucky there were no other cars. she was just screaming and pointing and i thought she might have a gun or something jesus christ

what the fuck my heart is still pounding

psst. happy dude came out of the cave day, everyone

okay. here's part two of the me and dan epic, comin' atcha.

OH. i completely forgot to relay a hilarious anecdote that occurred during the first time we dated. it was the first time i gave head. i stopped in the middle, sat up, and said 'it tastes like penis.' i was not trying to be funny, this is just one of those many occasions where i do not think before speaking. dan just looked at me and said 'that's something i would expect you to say but i cannot believe you just said that' amused and horrified all at once.

i simply went back to the task at hand.

for both of us, this was one of those stories we had to tell everyone. because it was funny as fuck. there was one instance where me, nicole, and this girl alyssa were hanging out. i relay this story to her, and i shit you not, her response is 'THAT WAS YOU?'

apparently our mutual friend ryan had told her the story. LOL.

( aaanyway... )

i'm probably only about half way through the story at this point. yeah, there's still a lot more.

so. as you guys are probably well aware, i avoid posting stuff that's too personal, but here's my second break down. feel completely free to skip.

so. my last boyfriend, dan. i... finally got closure on the whole deal. i feel infinitely better--it was something i desperately needed, but i also kind of feel like i want to just cry. that may or may not be the period talking, however.

so. the story of dan and i. told in its entirety and full honesty. feel lucky, not many people hear all of this.

( this is just the first part )

that was the first time i dated dan. out of four times. four years ago, before a lot of growing up. typical high school, right?

good god does it get more complicated. this thing is so tl;dr its ridiculous though, so i'll save the rest for later.

THIS IS MADE ME LATE FOR WORK I HOPE YOU BASTARDS APPRECIATE IT

really i just keep seeing it and cant help myself

Pick 10 people you roleplay. Don't look at the questions before you've made your list.
ps i dont necessarily roleplay these people. some of them i used to, some of them i want to, some of them i've just written. shut up i dont have that many just roleplay people.

1. Remus Lupin (harry potter)
2. Wedge Antilles (star wars)
3. Ted Tonks (harry potter)
4. Axel (kingdom hearts)
5. Koushiro 'Izzy' Izumi (digimon adventure)
6. Sanae Hanekoma (the world ends with you)
7. Sokka (avatar)
8. Auron (ffx)
9. Balthier (ffxii)
10. Rikku (ffx)

( WELL THATS A WIERD LIST. ONWARD )

so half of the staff walked out right before the rush on saturday.

THANKS, FUCKERS. WAY TO ABANDON US.

and oh man, jeremy. that little shit better watch the fuck out if i ever come across his happy ass ever again.

though the roommate is now kitchen staff.

LULZ TO BE ENSUING.

i also want to write a book of short stories about my job.

so the place i work at is called Something Sweet. it is a dessert restaurant. we serve dessert, coffee, and tea. that's it. we also have way too much fun at work. there was one time where some douchebag customer was all 'you guys need to be more professional and serious >(' we were all 'we work in a place chock full of sugar and caffeine. what the fuck do you expect?'

that spawned a running joke which will be the title of my book.

CAKE IS SERIOUS BUSINESS.

ps i probably shouldn't have texted the ex-boyfriend. fucklick.

QUICK FUCKIN' UPDATE WHILE I GOT A SECOND WOOT THE FUCK NOW

hey guess what its 7:30 am and i havent slept LOL WHO FAILS AT LIFE?

my ps2 died. I AM SENDING IT IN TO SONY TODAY a;lskjdfkls RIGHT in the middle of me playing ffx--at least it saved after i beat that stupid blitzball game. but i bought god of war and didn't get to play it at all. LAME, SIR.

so i've been on a HUGE knights of the old republic kick. i FINALLY got the playthrough character arc for 2 just right. FINALLY. lol who puts too much into characterization for such video games? THIS GUY. yeah i totally want to do a novelization of kotor 2. like, really really badly. ilu ezhno-exile. ilu so hard.

um um um. work is awesome and super lame. HEY GUYS NEVER WORK WITH AN EXBOYFRIEND ESPECIALLY ONE LIKE JEREMY raa raa raa. holy shit valentine's weekend kicked my ass. eleven hour shifts are lame.

honestly, nothing much else. i haven't done much but sleep, work, go to ihop after work, play some kotor, and go back to sleep. like no for serious.

SO i made a deal with the roommate that once our apartment is completely unpacked and in order, i will get us internet. and will pay for the internet if she keeps it clean. SO HOPEFULLY THIS WILL BE MOTIVATION AND I WILL BE BACK ON REGULARLY BUT WHO KNOWS. good god i really want to get back into rping and fic writing raa raa raa.

yeah i really dont know what else. life is relatively boring right now.

I MISS YOU GUYS THOUGH D:

edit: TOTALLY FORGOT. I saw Coraline! in 3d! CANNOT RECCOMMEND HIGHLY ENOUGH SERIOUSLY GO SEE IT NOW. also: milk and frost/nixon are totally oscar worthy